Kidacro@sdf
2010		Isn't it amazing how life does the opposite of what you truely want? I wanted to grow up and have my own place free and clear but for some reason my mom had to die in order for me to have my chance. Not really a chance; a forced situation. See I'm not a depressing sort of person... actually I think suicide is a punks' way out and refuse to do anything of the sort. Why did I go straight there? Some in my situation would think about it... kinda hard. Having your mother as a best friend is said to be sad by most but not with my mom. She coded when coding wasn't cool; all week/month punchcard sessions and such in assembly. Most importantly is the fact that she "actually got" wtf I was saying... kinda rare. My point being is that in the end my mom's death fueled the fire in more ways than 1) since it was due to neglence leading to 2) no one ever expected anything like this to happen and finally 3) when I take over this measly planet everyone I know is expecting me to continue her legacy with compassionate goals. In fact I have been asked for my advice more times than I can remember by people she use to console. That's not me. "Solve your own fcsk'in problems" I think. In fact the last time I remember ever trying to give advice was back on South Street which ended up in a quasi-war between the goths and the punks. What else is new but that was the last time. Now is the time for things to change, for me to change, for the world to realize the individual needs to be independent and solve their own damn problems. I should take my own advice but like thats ever going to happen. Rant's pretty much over... beer is settling in, weeds smoked... resin is being scraped and I'm still left with more questions than answers. If I don't end up on the streets or some bs philly shelter it will suprise me but for the mean time I'll fight.